Allegory of a wasted life

I need to piss. Am I going to piss? I don't really need to piss, do I? If I go now, I'll have to go again later. I should better hold it some more. But can I? Now it is all in my head. Shit, I hate this. Do I really, really need to piss or you are playing with me, brain? Do not think about it, do not think about it. What if I unzip my shorts? Oh, that feels better. Much better. I am so relaxed now. But hey, let me contract my abdomen muscles to see if I still need to piss. I mean, I could piss. Maybe I should go now, since the toilet is not occupied? But what are the odds the toilet is occupied just at the time I want to piss? Come on, I can't be that unlucky. Disclamer, my ''can't be that unlucky'' is actually very unlucky. I should piss, really. In 2 minutes. I'll hold it until the commercials start, and I'll go. That's it. I can handle it, I can handle it. All that will power bullshit should work now. 1 minute and 30 seconds. I should wait untill it is 00 seconds, for the luck. 1 minute 12 seconds. This fucking hurts. What the fuck is wrong with me? (A little more to go.) 1 minute 6 seconds. Fuck, now I really need to piss. 00 seconds. The toilet is occupied.